King Of Anything

new-ER chapter...?

So, I got the call the other day to hear about the job....aaanddd........they already filled it. :/ yeah. with someone who already worked there. But, she said I interviewed really well, and that they would still like me to work there. So, I guess that makes me feel better. However, when I applied there, Tys and I talked and said if I got the job we'd stay here in Twin, and if I didn't, we'd consider moving to Idaho Falls. Which, with the way things are looking, I'm thinking that's what probably going to happen. His job at Costco is only seasonal, our lease is up in January, and my job doesn't seem to stable right now with the economy and real estate business. We have some connections up with with Tyson's family and old friends (he grew up there) and so hopefully we'll have "ins" at some jobs. I applied at Melalueca yesterday and have someone we know giving out resumes to people who work there. So, I guess we'll just see what this all turns into! It's kind of exciting. Starting somewhere completely knew. But scary, too. I'm sure it will just be another grand adventure!

New Chapter...?

Well, a possible new chapter in my life has recently come up this past week....! My boss, Nathan, approached me the other day and told me of a possible job opportunity at First Federal Bank. His brother in law, Mike, who is the Sr. VP there (who was also my bishop when I was in 15th ward) put my name in for it and talked to Nate about. It would be a position for a teller. Sooo...I applied for it this past Thursday. Mike's wife, Brenda, works out of our office and she has been keeping me posted. The two of them have been helping me out so much! So anyway, I got yesterday and went in for my interview this (blustery) afternoon. I hate interviews. Just as much as next guy, I assume; but still, they're so crappy. I felt all flustery and blushy and hot. I stumbled on a couple of questions, but overall I felt like I did a good job. I'm supposed to hear back at the beginning of next week. So, we'll see! This is the first time I haven't felt 100% confident about landing a job. Usually I kind of already know I have it or I feel great, but this is a larger company, with more applicants, and higher standards. I guess it just always continues to get harder though as you move in careers; it's normal. I really hope I get this job. It's a good company with a good reputation, good benefits/bonuses, and it's somewhere that I can stay for a while and move up in the company. Even though I'm anxious about getting this job, I know that if I'm supposed to get it I will. God will choose for me what will be best for us and it will work out. I'll keep you updated!!

Happy Halloween!!

My trashy man. Pony-tail and all.



My hilarious brother-in-law Levi trying to eat with his scissor hands.  And my gangsta sis, Steph.



Last night we went to the Casperson's Annual Halloween Party and had ourselves a wonderful time! We all got dressed up in our fabulous costumes, danced around a bit, and just enjoyed watching eachother look incredibly funny. For some reason, I just absolutely love Halloween. It's such a fun holiday. I like the costumes, the food, the music, the scary movies, the parties, and just the social experience. I can't wait to get to take my adorable little kids trick-or-treating.



I got everyone's hopes up with this belly. They said now that I got them excited I'd better get started for real....



My dad's amazingly creative He-She costume

Fall is in the Air...

My toesies and the beautiful
fall leaves.

The beautiful, vintage bottles on our headboard.
Cozies up our room just lovely!

Holy cow. This is one of the nicest fall seasons in Idaho that I can remember in...well...ever!! Last year our first heavy snow was the first week of October! This week, the days have been in the 60's still and last week was in the 70's and 80's. Fall is my very favoritest season. So, even though it doesn't feel particularly fall-y, it looks rather fall-y...and I'm loving it! The cool breeze; The swaying, fluttering leaves that look like orange and yellow flecks of glitter topping all the roads and roofs; The pumpkin patches and booths throughout town; And of course you can't forget the sweaters and hot chocolate and blanket cuddling! 'Tis the season -for pumpkin, orange, baking, and slippers!!

Looking up the skirt of a giant mushroom.

It still feels as if October is just starting, but I can't believe it's almost over. I'll miss you October! I don't even know what I'm going to be for Halloween yet. I think Tys and I will be a zombie bride and groom. Tyson's momma is playing with her band, The Hot Flashes (so clever!!) at the Casperson's halloween party. So we'll get dressed up and get our groove on there!

Now that it's getting chillier each day, I'm really wanting to sew and craft more. I have an unfinished quilt that I'd like to finish here soon, or at least pickup again, but I haven't had the mulah to get any more fabric! Sad. But I get paid on Friday, so I'll get going on it again. After that one is finished, I think I'm going to try to sell it, and get some money to buy new fabric to start a different quilt that I'd like to keep. I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but I guess I'll take on th challenge. It's a beautiful applique Wishing Tree Quilt. Oh my goodness sakes, it is one of the most gorgeous bed sets I've ever seen. We'll see if I can figure this out!!

Weekend Ventures





This past weekend I traveled up the two hours to Boise with my sister while she attended more Zumba training and certifications. We thought it would be fun to get away together, and I was in dire need of a break from my weekly routine and such. That night consisted of Texas Roudhouse (Yum!), hot tub with our steak-bloated bellies, King of Queens and AFV.

Mm-hmmm....Jealous!!

Saturday morning, I took Steph to her training at 8 in the morning. I had the rest of the day to myself and to do whatever I wanted! I went to an adorable cupcake shop in Eagle, Lilly Jane's Cupcakes. I went to the Boise Zoo and started wishing I had my own pet giraffe, tiger, and human baby to see his/her excited reaction like the rest of the adorable children there. I did a tid bit of shopping and playing and, well, just enjoying my R & R time.

I had a splendid time with my sister and thought I'd share my weekend with you..!

How Long is a.....?

So....
I had recently heard of someone running a 100k race. I wasn't quite sure how many miles that was, so I decided to look it up on Google. I started typing it in at the top search bar, "How long is......." and noticed all the other options it came up with before I finished. I thought it was actually quite funny.

For example....

How long is Starcraft 2 Campaign?

How long is Sex and the City 2?

How long is strep throat contagious?

How long is Shutter Island?

How long is Shrek Forever After?

How long is soccer game?

How long is shingles contagious?

How long is summer?

How long is Shrek 4?

How long is summer school?

Lol. This is actually really funny! It comes up with the most popular searches that start with those words, and this is was came up. Looks as if people are spending a lot too much time worrying about movies and summer......and diseases. Which I guess in the end could amount to the poor souls at the bottom who take summer school.

Again!!

How long is Bronchitis contagious?

How long is basic training for the army?

How long is breast milk good for?

How long is bioshock 2?

How long is beer good for?

How long is borderlands?

How long is boot camp?

How long is bayonetta?

How long is bacon good for?

How long is whooping cough contagious?
How long is world cup halftime?
How long is warped tour?
How long is weed in your system?
How long is wicked?
How long is world cup?
How long is watermelon good for?
How long is wine good after opening?

How long is  jiffy?

How long is a justin bieber concert?

How long is a john mayer concert?

How long is a job interview?

How long is a jewish wedding?

How long is a jewish funeral?

How long is a judgement good for?

How long is a javelin?

How long is a jersey shore episode?

Whew!!

That was fun.....

Thou Art a Teacher...

A few weeks ago Tyson and I were set apart in our first calling together: 15 and 16 year old sunday school teachers. I'll admit, I was, and still am, a little shocked. I can't help but think of all the other people in the ward who would be so much more knowledgable and experienced teachers than I. Luckily I do have Tyson to lean on for help, but I still struggle. I taught my first lesson alone yesterday. And really, it was alright.
I taught all the material I was supposed to.
                                        I taught from start this finish.
                                                                  And no one fell asleep on me.....

The scriptures are such a wonderful and precious tool. However, it can sometimes be difficult for someone to understand scriptures in Nephi or Genesis, let alone Isaiah. Which is precisely what we're teaching out of right now...


And I get frustrated.


I don't always understand what I'm reading and at times have to go over the scripture 5.....10....times for it to start sinking in. Afterward, I still need to go to Tyson for him to explain it to me. I was really starting to get discouraged. I feel like, in order to be a good teacher, I have to completely understand what I am teaching.


While preparing for next weeks lesson, I went to LDS.org to read over it. While there, I decided to start reading the newest General Conference talks. So I started with Saturday morning's first talk, and ended with the last one of that day. One talk really stuck out to me. For those of you who watched conference, it was the talk given by David M. McConkie about teachers. As I read through that talk, I had a feeling of comfort flow through my mind and my body. I knew that the Lord is all-knowing, and that he put me there to help me learn and grow. But I was feeling inadequate. I don't know much more about this doctrine as the teenagers in my class do!

"It is natural for teachers to have feelings of inadequacy. You must understand that 'age and maturity and intellectual training are not in any way or to any degree necessary to communion with the Lord and His Spirit.'

The promises of the Lord are certain. If you earnestly search the scriptures and treasure up in your minds the words of life, if you keep the commandments with all of your heart and pray for each student, you will enjoy the companionship of the Holy Ghost and you will receive revelation.^"

Surprisingly, I hadn't thought about that part yet. I have prayed for myself in teaching and learning the lessons. And I have prayed for my class to recieve and understand the lessons. But I just didn't really think about praying for each student personally and spiritually. I really enjoy the kids in my class and think they are very smart and sweet kids. I can't wait to get to know them better as time goes on.

"Successful gospel teachers love the gospel. They are excited about it. And because they love their students, they want them to feel as they feel and to experience what they have experienced. To teach the gospel is to share your love of the gospel."

Pizza Party!

I did it! I'll admit, I was a tad worried about the homemade pizza. I guess I just grew up thinking what a horrible thing homemade pizza was when you could pick it up so much easier and faster. I don't ever remember having my mother make homemade pizza while I was growing up. I do, however, remember her always saying how hard it was to make a good pizza crust. "The outside is always burnt, and the middle is always doughy!!" But mine turned out delectible! I was so proud. :)



Before Product....(LOVE my heavy duty Pampered Chef pans. Got them for my wedding!)



And the After (Cheesy-Goodness) Product!



So there you have it! My pizza experience turned out to be a success. And mostly, I know it was a success because Tys liked it. Otherwise, it would have been a failure, even had I loved it. He's the pizza king. If anyone knows whether or not a pizza is good, it's him. Over and out!

Home with Mr. Clark

Last night was a nice little date night with Mr. Clark. He didn't have to work and I chose not to go to the gym. (It's starting to show after this last couple of weeks of choosing that.)  So, we ate Chicana for dinner (meat was a little chewy) and watched the Karate Kid. It was slightly lame-r this second time around, but still good. Then Tyson got out the Cookie Dough Ben & Jerry's, of which I was good and had only two bites despite the fact that I could have devoured half of it.

Mr. Clark and his red beard

I love home-date nights with the hubs. It's just nice. We don't get to spend a whole lot of time together during the week (that isn't sleeping, lunch, or the hour before sleeping), so I love those nights that we do get. And last night had sort of a warmcozyromantic feel to it because there was thunder rolling in the distance and big billowy clouds lurking. So I turned off all the lights, and just lit our lamps and candles. LOVE THAT.

Tonight I'm going to attempt to make homemade whole wheat pizza. Sounds goooood....but will it be? We know not. I've never made any type of homemade yeasty bread. Only banana or zucchini. But I'll let you know how this turned out tomorrow!

NieNie

I feel so incredibly inspired right now.

I have "met" the most amazing, and profound woman. I cannot even begin to explain the impact she has made in my life. Her name is Stephanie Nielson. Below is a picture of her a few years ago with her husband, "Mr. Nielson". She has four beautiful children. She is an amazingly dedicated, patient, and loving mother and wife. She works hard in raising her family to be close to eachother to their Heavenly Father, like she herself is.



In August of 2008, Stephanie and her husband Christian were in a near-fatal plane crash, leaving burns on 80% of her body. She was in a coma for 3 months, while her family waited anxiously near her hospital bed to see how she would recover. I found out about Stephanie from watching a short video about her on LDS.org, and soon was completely intrigued by her and her story and testimony.

She is an avid blogger, so I found her blog, and started back to the beginning. 2004. I went through her daily entries about her childhood and about her sweet children. She wrote about her new homes each time she moved and about the cities she was in. She wrote about her new shoes and the things she cooked for dinner. She wrote about her love for her husband and about their romantic marriage. She wrote about the crafts she and her children would make together, including the messes. She wrote about all these amazing things, and also very mundane things. Everything, however, seemed extraordinary through her words. I went through her most recent child's natural birth at home. About how they ate burritos there an hour afterward. I went through the crash with her and her family, while they updated her blog. I felt her grief as she woke up after three months and cried about what happened. I felt her happiness as she realized how many amazing friends and readers loved and supported her. She has well over 1,000 entries, and I read all of them...in two days!

She has the most incredible testimony of our savior Jesus Christ, and of the plan that our Father in Heaven has made specially for each one of us. She taught me amazing characteristics in a mother. How to love and cherish your children and the little things in life. She is so talented too! She can craft and create and cook like no one I've ever seen! Unless of course they get paid to do it and it's their full-time job. But she is such an exception. I read a bit of her sister's blog for a while during the time that Stephanie was in a coma, and she said something so profound. This will stick with me for a very long time...

                "I am starting to believe that there is no such
       as tragedy. There is only opportunity for growth,
       and should you accept it, the reward overcomes
       the sailing of the hardship."

No better compliment....

In the past few months....I've come to find out that there are few greater compliments, than someone telling you they absolutely LOVE some type of food you've made. About 7 months ago, I made this amazing delish carrot cake. Which, at that time, I have hardly any baking experience. It was the first thing I'd ever made from scratch. and everyone loved it! I've had requests for it since then, but haven't made it. Then during the Saturday session of General Conference this past weekend, I finally made it again. I couldn't have been happier as I sat and listened to everyone just going on about how they could eat this all day long, and how it was the best carrot cake they've ever had! So, by request, I'm making it again tonight for Steph's birthday, and again in a month for Levi's birthday. Such a great feeling!

Now, Just to clarify, this is NOT an actual photo of my carrot cake. It is round, and 3 layers, but it does NOT have the nuts. And, it's a rich cream cheese frosting instead. I also use whole wheat flour. (And you don't want me to disclose how many cubes of butter are in the cake.) Mmmm-mm!

Letter To Me-

Tyson and I were able to go to a Brad Paisley/Darius Rucker concert a couple weekends ago. It was sooo great. And, I think Brad Paisley has amazingly inciteful lyrics. As we stood in the grass cuddling and listening to the lyrics, one of his songs distinctly stood out to me and got me thinking. It's called "Letter To Me," and I wanted to rewrite the lyrics to fit me. I really wish I could actually send this letter to myself 4 years ago. I think I would have seen and lived life a little differently....

If I could write a letter to me
And send if back in time to myself at 17,

First I'd prove it's me by saying, look under your bed

There's a box of cookies and your journal that no one else would know you hid.

And then I'd say I know it's tough
When you break up after ten months
And yeah, I know you really liked him and it doesn't seem fair
But you'll forget him by tomorrow, and the amazing man you'll end up with is rare.

And oh, you got so much going for you, going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
Your best friend spread a rumor about you, and you still feel a knife
Sticking out of your back you're wondering if you'll survive

But you'll make it through this and you'll see

You're still around to write this letter to me.

Before you do something stupid with your friends,
Stop for a second and think about if you'd be doing that with your parents.
And when you get dressed, keep on that first pair of pants,
It doesn't make your butt look big, and you just need to give in and dance.

Each and every time you have a fight,
Just assume you're wrong and mommy's right.
And you should really thank Sister White and Wilson
They spend so much extra time
It's like they sees the diamond underneath
And they're polishing you til you shine.

And oh, you got so much going for you, going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
Tonights the bonfire rally but you're staying home instead
Because if you fail Algebra, mom and dad will kill you dead.
But trust me, you'll squeek by and get a C
And you're still around to write this letter to me.

You got so much up ahead, you'll make new friends
You should see your life and husband.
And I'd end by saying have no fear,
These are nowhere near the best years of your life.
I guess I'll see you in the mirror when you're a woman.
P.S. Go hug Nana every chance you can

And oh, you got so much going for you, going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
I wish you'd study French, I wish you'd take a cooking class.
I wish you wouldn't worry, let it be.
I'd say have a little faith and you'll see
If I could write a letter to me.

The Band Perry - If I Die Young

I absolutely love this song and video. It's beautiful...

Quick Catch Up

Just to quickly catch you up on any new recent events....

1. We did end up working in a rafting trip a few weeks ago after that disasterous one.

2. Had a great trip at the cabin for Labor Day weekend with the Mishlers and the Clarks.

3. Tyson has an interview at Costco tomorrow...his third and final one (say a prayer)!!

4. We're going to the Brad Paisley/Darius Rucker concert this Friday in Salt Lake...whoop whoop!!

5. We got a fish this weekend. Our first pet!

6. New Biggest Loser and Glee seasons started yesterday!!! (not that you care.)

7. Fall is moving in quickly and it's finally starting to get chilly.

My Favorite Coach Sue Sylvester Quotes!



In the Wise Words of Sue Sylvester:



"I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then, on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face!"

"You'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at -- right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian."

"I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help but picturing birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting."

The Love Dare

A while ago, I decided to buy the book "The Love Dare," from the Christian movie "Fireproof". I'm very bad at keeping secrets and planning out surprises. They usually don't end up being a surprise in the end. But, I bought the book secretly, then had Tyson watch "Fireproof" with me, so that at the end of the challenge he would know what I was talking about with the book. At the end he said, "that would be really neat if there was a real book where we could do this together." I bit my tounge and just nodded. So, here I am, continuing on with "The Love Dare", Tyson unknowing, and trying to strengthen our new foundation of a relationship.

There are truly some amazing principles and quotes in that book. I started it a few months ago, and did the first 10 days, but then unfortunately got lazy. But I started it again a few days ago and have felt a sense of strength in our marriage. He has also been extra helpful, loving, and uplifting to me. I come home and things are done that I never mentioned or asked him to do. We have had more loving passion. We have laughed more. I love him more deeply each day.

"Marriage is a beautiful mystery created by God, joining two lives together as one. This not only happens physically but spiritually and emotionally. You start off sharing the same house, the same bed, the same last name. Your identity as individuals has been joined into one. When your spousegoes through a tragedy, both of you feel it. When you find success at your job, both of you rejoice. When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. So treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life."

I dare each of you, whether you have the most ideal or most rough marriage, to try the Love Dare. It will strengthen your marriage regardless.

Forgive me, blog.

So, I've been a bad record-keeper and a bad blogger. This I know; forgive me. But I'm ready to start fresh in a new, (more) diligent light. So, give me another chance, please?

Work has been so slow lately. I've been holding my days over with reading and crossword puzzles. It's just not the same, though, when I'm not in warm, comfy clothes and sitting on my couch with a blanket and a cup of hot cocoa. Mmmm, well thanks for the image; now I just want to go home (even more so). I 've read through these surrounding wonderous books this past month at work...



All great books. We're...well...poor, at the moment. So I haven't been able to buy any new books. So, using my brain I created this amazingly brilliant plan: I decided to read the books I already own, that I haven't read yet! Yes, I know, genuis. But really. I think I still have one or two Jodi Picoult novels that I haven't read, so I'll read those next. I forget how much I love to read, until I start reading again. It's so refreshing. I 'm so glad that novels aren't something that technology has gotten rid of completely. I love to smell a new book, and to trace my hand over it's smooth, blemishless cover. It's almost like a bonding moment between myself and my book.

The most amazing things are created in books. Life changing quotes, experiences and situations that are unimaginable to me, until placing myself in the characters shoes and going through it in their words.

Ah, how I love all of you authors out there. :)

worst. day. ever!

So, yesterday, I took the day off work so that Tyson and I could have a fun, much-needed vacation/adventure together since, as we all know, this summer is quickly coming to a close. So, we borrowed a cataraft and everything needed and headed up to the South Fork in Boise. We got there at about 11:30 with big smiles and started to get everything ready. We unloaded all our gear and the raft and started to pump up the tubes, but the pump was broken! So, Tyson drove up stream to a nearby launch and borrowed one (thank the Lord for all the wonderful people who were so willing to help us all day). We filled up our tubes quickly and brought back the pump, then while we were hooking the frame up we could heard a leak....gah!

So we found the leak and it was right on a seam. We tried to duct tape it but that was a failure. A couple of guys were there putting in their raft so we asked if they had anything and they had a patch kit, which they lent us. It was too hot outside though so the adhesive wouldn't stick, it just stayed tacky and the air kept pushing out. We held it for a really long time and though it was "better", so we went and brought his car to drop it off for the shuttle car. When we got back (an hour and 1/2 later) the tube was flat.

So we just sat there, smiles long gone from our faces at this point, and racked our brains for some other options. Another fisherman and his wife were taking out there and tried to help as well. He fixed our pump, and his wife forced us to drink stuff and eat their fruit, even though we insisted we were fine. Lol. Bless her soul. But, by then it was about 4 or 4:30 and we knew the day was basically doomed. So, we drove all the way back to pick up Ty's car, get the raft, and go home. All in all, we spent over 100 dollars in gas, got really grumpy, dehydrated, and that's about it! Jeez, with the way the day went I'm surprised we even made it home alive. I was getting worried! But we did, and the day is over. There must have been some reason why nothing went well. I mean, seriously. There has to be a reason why we didn't get our raft in the water yesterday; a day like that is just unlikely otherwise. At least we got to see the beautiful river and a great view from the mountain! Oh well, it's a new day, and a much better one!

long time, no see

It's been far too long since I've posted anything on here, huh. Not too much has happened...except for us moving into a cute apartment! We were looking at this one bedroom, and it didn't work out, but it turned out to be the companies fault that we didn't get it. So, they gave us a two bedroom for a really good deal! Just a little bit more than what we would have been paying for the one bed. And it's really really neat. The two bedrooms are on the bottom floor along with a bathroom; all good sized. Then, you go upstairs and there's a big loft-type room. A big living room and kitchen with vaulted ceilings and and a big half bath. And there's these pretty french doors that go out to a balcony (which is gross cause there's all these birds that poop all over it and put mud nests all over. We'll clean that up soon so we can actually go out there.) But we both love it!

We have a cute little stream thing that runs right behind our place and little duckies float through it. It's fun! And fyi, they love bread. Not popcorn, or crackers, or cereal, or waffles. Just bread. We're starting to get it all decorated cute and stuff. It finally feels like home, especially after we were able to get out all of our wedding gifts and put them to good use. I'll put some pictures up as soon as I find my camera charger. But yeah, just thought I should probably tell you, like, the most exciting thing ever!

New Beginnings.

Well, we're well on our way to getting a new apartment! And I'm ready. Not that the Nana and Papa weren't wonderful for letting us live in their house and help us save money. And not that the Clarks haven't been wonderful for allowing us to stay in their basement and help us out even more (though unfortunately this time we didn't do quite as well at saving. Dang). But I'm ready to finally get to a place to call our own. To finally open up all of our wedding presents. Use our new dishes and silverwear; use our iron and vacuum; try out our skillet and blender. It's exciting! I love my kitchen stuff, and it will be fun to use it! I think this change will occur in the next week or two, and we have a great 2 bedroom apartment for only 450! That's a steal these days. (That made me sound old.)

Now, I guess this will be our real test to see if we can quit emptying our pockets on crap and junk. I know we made plenty of money to pay for this, it's just our spending habbits that we don't have enough money for. So I say lets KICK those habbits now!!

Come home, Abbey.

Abbey Sunderland.

A brave, 16 year-old girl who wanted to become the youngest to circumnavigate around the world in a sailboat. She lost contact with satellites this morning after rough water and a raging storm. Her emergency beacons have been activated. Officials are searching for her, but have lost all communication with her.

Please, remember her in your prayers.

Beat up...from the inside out.

Lately I've really been getting down on myself.

And I wish I could just stop thinking negative things about myself, but we all know it's just not as easy as that. And I've been thinking, why do we do that to ourselves? Where did all of this negative thinking come from?? Did cave-wives do the same? I can't really imagine a cave-wife sitting in her cave-bathroom and looking at herself in the mirror thinking "Does this fur make my butt look big?" Or, "Wow, I have too much cellulite on my legs." Or, "My hair is a disaster today!"

It had to have started somewhere. Of course, I think most of us can justly say that we hold the media responsible for a large portion of our distorted body images. When they begin to say that being a size 2 is ideal and sexy, the rest of us normal 6's (or 8's or 10's) start looking down at our bodies and questioning our healthy "imperfect" bodies. I think a body is ideal and sexy and you're confident in it, and you're healthy.

Negative thinking is not healthy.

It is a plague. It is a disease that spreads and harms, and even kills.

Now, just because I'm writing this, I don't want you to think that I'm like...depressed or that I hate my body or something. It's just that, the little things that we pick at about ourselves is really frustrating. I look at the size 4, beautiful woman that works in my office, as she diets consistently and always talks about how she can't eat that cookie or that half bagel ever because she can't have carbs since she's trying to get her pooch off...! I mean, she literally eats the meat and cheese off the top of her pizza cause she can't eat the bread as well. Why?? Now, that's just ridiculous. Or when my incredibly fit husband looks at his legs and says he has chicken legs, or down at his tummy and says he has a "gut."

We all need to stop being unrealistic and so judgemental about ourselves and just live our lives a little fuller. I want to wake up every morning and look in the morning and think to myself, "I'm a beautiful woman."

Because, I am.

Lonely, lonely, sad.

Prologue.

Tyson and I, our first date was on September 11, 2009. We literally went out every single night after that. We were engaged three weeks later. Married three and a half months later. And have not been apart for a single day since our first date that September 11th.

Present Day

Tyson left on Tuesday morning to go to Moab. Uh...how do I function?? It has been almost 2 and 1/2 days since he's been gone, and man-oh-man. It's the worse. I hate having him gone. I was thinking I was going to sleep so well with him gone; no more waking up every time he turns over or snorts! But, alas; I lay alone in bed for a couple hours before exhaustion finally wins and I am able to fade out. I need him back! He will be back on Saturday; so let's pray that I'm still human by then. That I haven't turned into some depressed, mushy "thing" that just lays in bed and stares blankly at the TV or something.

Is that pathetic?? Some might think so. But, I think not. And I don't blame you for thinking it is! But I like things the way they are. (Not with him being gone, but with us being attached at the hip and slightly inseparable.)

Eternity...

Doing all I can to make things better

Everything I can to get things right

Baby when you're with me it's a

little more like Heaven

Here in my mind, here in my mind

Just can't let this old world get us down

There's too much beauty in this life

It should be so perfect

We shouldn't know we've made it to the other side

When we make it to the other side

Oh you know it's got to be so beautiful

Oh and everyone is so free
Love, love is the only thing

there is between you and me

I've been looking for so long to

find this place I see

And I've just got to believe

                                   it's more than a dream

Seems it's time I should move on

                                          but I hope you come with me

Till we find

                    eternity

Date Night

I love date nights with my sweet husband. I love dressing up and looking nice for him, and having him dress up and look all sexy to show off my win. :) Which, he always looks sexy, and I always love to show him off...but it's fun to dress up and do something different. Last night we went for a nice dinner out to Jakers. After which, we went to Miracle Hot Springs. It was great because normally when we go there it's the weekend and there's a bunch of obnoxious teenaged couples, feeling eachother up or splashing us in the face during their games. But since it was a Monday, we had the pool all to ourselves and just had fun playing around and goofing off.

But really, there is nothing like finding that one person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. The one and only. Tyson. The feeling is simply incredible. We just drove back from Buhl with smiles on our faces and held eachothers' hand as tightly as ever. He said to me "You're such a special girl." And when he said it, I believed it. It means so much more to me coming from him than anyone else. His words bring tears to my eyes. (Tears of happiness, of course.)

Buhl is a long ways away, so we made a daring little pit stop on our way home. Then we tip-toed back into a dark, sleeping home, climbed into bed, (checked the outcome of the Jazz game: 4th loss of the playouts. Out.), cuddled up next to eachothers warm body, and went to sleep. Marriage is bliss.

Mean Old Man Spring

I think Spring is just mocking us now.

He's trying to make a mockery of our high spirits and desire to unpack our short-sleeve shirts and shorts. But he can only hold back summer for so long. Soon, summer will push past mean ol' Spring with a big smile and bright rays that cast across our bodies, warming our freezing, wet extremities.

No, but I guess in all actuality, Spring is approaching. I can feel it. Somedays. I'm just being overdramatic and impatient. I've lived in Idaho for...how many years now? 15. Yet, still, it's the same thing every year; we humans never learn, do we.

Beware the Me-Monster.

What is the deal with this whole pride business? And i don't mean just the being-proud-of something, thing. I mean the I'm-better-than-you, or better-at-this-that-you, prideful, crap. And one-upping? It's just nonsense. Not that I'm saying I'm better than anyone like this by any means. I'm just as lowly and guilty as the rest of you. I can be bad. Because...I'm always right. Or so it appears in my head. And I hate it. Tyson and I have been learning how to adjust quite a bit to eachothers similar personalities. It has been a real learning experience. For a while we were struggling with one-upping. I knew more than he did, and he knew more than I did, and back and forth until feelings were hurt and someone was offended.

But, all because of my wonderful, sweet husband, things have done a 180 for the good this week. He is so sweet and as he avoids arguments and lets me win, or holds his tongue, I realize how much I love him and I end up trying harder as well. When he is loving I am able to be loving, and vice versa. It seems so obvious and simple, but just like most things, it can be harder done than said. When I come home and the house is clean, laundry done, dishes washed, I actually want to go to the gym and visit him and workout, rather than coming home and sulking about how much I have to do and how tired I am. It's so wonderful. The only one-upping we've done in the last few days is who loves the other more. (I do.) How pointless and destructive is pride? Beware the Me-Monster. Beware.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QvSoRQrVJg

My dear friend, Spring.

I can smell Spring. I can feel it in my fingertips and on my face. I can taste the freshness in my mouth when I breathe in. I can sense it standing back in the shadows like you can sense someone's eyes upon your face. I can sense it....but it's not quite here. It was beginning to turn so beautiful. Spring break was gorgeous. 60's all week. And now, it's frigid again. It's blustery. We're expecting snow and rain for the rest of the week.  It's slightly depressing. I was just starting to pull out and dust off my sandals and tee-shirts. And now I'm having to take out my sweaters and boots again...?? Silly, silly Idaho. However, my spirits haven't completely dropped. I'm still excitedly awaiting the arrival of my dear friend, Spring.

In fact....I've been much, much too excited about a certain springy discovery I made yesterday (...just ask my husband, way too excited)! As I pulled up to my garage, I noticed about seven or eight beautiful little peeping robins sitting outside on our tree in our front yard! Ah! how wonderful was that to see and hear?? And there was a little nest resting up on a branch that I'm just going to assume was full of tiny little speckled blue eggs. It really just was the cherry on top of my already wonderful day. I'm just starting to really, truly appreciate this beautiful world and all the creatures and plants here. What a beautiful place we live in. And what a wonderful life I live.

Sicko.

Uuggghhh.....I hate being sick. Last Thursday, exactly a week ago from today...I woke up to a cold hitting me like a swift kick to the face. No warning. No pre-symptoms. Nothin! Not sick, then sick. Just like that! I thought that trick was sick in and of itself. And this was not just any little sniffly cold. It was a full on sore throat, swollen tonsils, flowing drainage, river-running nose, mucousy lungs, pounding headache, dizzy, achy, killer flu. Yeah, that bad. By Monday it had turned into a full on sinus infection. That was pretty much the crappiest thing ever. But...I went to the doctor that afternoon and and got some saltwater to sniff up my nose and gag back out. Then my wonderful husband and Todders gave me a blessing that night and I woke up ten times better! I'm back at work and stuffed up as ever, but I'm doing so much better.

So....that was my week in a nutshell!!

"You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." - C.S. Lewis

"Sorry Baby......Mommy won't buy you Floosy Sue Barbie."

I've recently began an internal debate with myself about whether or not Barbie is a healthy role model for young girls...or more of an unfortunate role model with her unattainable, unrealistic image and unhealthy habits. Why am I being a barbie nazi, you ask? Well, because. I think these stick thin, fashionably perfect, and popular, cliquey dolls can convey the wrong messages to the young girls that play with them. I know, I sound like a feminist, nonconformist...right? I'm not. I played with Barbies during my early adolescence. And it did nothing to give me a bad body image. The media and peers did a great job of that, not my Barbie collection. I'm not saying I'm anti-Barbie or any of the sort. (Well, I am anti-Bratz dolls. And I'll keep that stance 'til the end!) I'm just simpy saying that the whole idea and theology behind Barbie is slightly twisted.

Before Barbie, there was a German doll similar to her, called Lilli Doll- same height, same blonde ponytail- except that Lilli was the plastic rendition of a Bild Zeitung character who was a hooker. Yep, you heard me right. Straight up hooker! This doll was originally marketed toward adult men as a gag gift. If the original Barbie had been a real woman, her measurements would have been 39" bust, 18" waist, and 33" hips. Now, I don't know about you, but if I saw a real woman walking down the street that looked like that...I just might just crap a brick! Freaky lady.

Now, I think often times Barbie is criticized for her body image messages. Which I do think is definitely distorted; however, I think that the behaviorial image Barbie portrays is moreso of one.

Barbie is a shopoholic. She has more pink miniskirts, bags, tank tops, dresses, pumps, convertables, shorts, and tummy-baring tees that I could ever possibly attain in an entire lifetime, even if I tried. She has a "Jackson Nose," which obvioiusly, one usually isn't born with, unless because of a deformity. I think it's a sad shame that Barbie has probably never even smelled any of those dinners that she's cooked in her little dollhouse kitchenette because of that poor little baby nose. She's "perfect" and popular. There's no Nerdy Jane Barbie, or Chubby Sarah Barbie, or Bank Geek Karla Barbie. It's always Cheerleader Sue, Sorority Lisa, or Beachbabe Samantha Barbie.

Now, on the other hand, Bratz dolls, I absolutely hate. Their hideous, makeup caked faces, poofy hair and self-explanatory name says it all! Do you honestly want to buy your six-year-old daughters a doll that is clad in low-rider jeans, hooker boots, Angelina-like lips, and proclaims to others of her promiscious, bratty attitude? I'd rather not. Bratz make Barbie look like an angel sent from above.

Butt Kicking.

So...I can now say that I know what it feels like to get the crap kicked out of you.....

Now, before you gasp in horror and begin to feel deep pitty and sorrow for me, sadly thinking I got mugged or jumped or possibly punched in face, let me explain....

I went snowboarding...for the first time...and the mountain legitimately kicked the crap out of me.

I've decided I'm a little too safe. I don't take enough risks or go on enough adventures. I don't go outside of that comfortable little box that is nice and toasty warm. I just don't try things of the unknown nature; things that I have no idea how they might end, or how I might look doing them. But, I don't know why that is exactly. I don't know why it can be so scary trying new things sometimes. But it's dumb! And I don't like being held back by subconscious thoughts and premade decisions that should have no say over my actions. Anxiety should not be able to tell me not to snowboard or not to sing loudly. It should not have any say over whether or not I go cliff jumping or speak in public without shaking. It should not tell me that I shouldn't run that race because I can't finish. Only I can be in charge of that.

Anywho, back to the big a-kicking. We drove up to Magic, dressed in our appropriate cold-weather garb, clad with our board of a shield, and trudging chin up with our oversized boots and positive attitude. It was snowing. Which you might not see any significance in me mentioning, but the fact that I had a positive attitude whilst knowing I was soon to be out there in the snow is actually quite a significant statement. We started, and I fell. Then, I fell again. And again. And I started getting tired. And sweaty. And sore. So we took a break. Then...back at it again. And I fell, and eventually got up. And fell. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at the top of the bunny hill, with 6 year olds carving on right past me spraying up snow in my face and laughing their hineous gapped-tooth laughs. (That might be a slight overexaggeration, but that's how it felt at the time.)

Our last run of the day was up the big lift. We rode higher and higher up the mountain, as did my anxiety and excitement. As soon as the lift touched the top and we pushed off our seats...I fell flat on my face. However, I got back up and continued on down the mountain. I fell a few times on our way down; and often times it took me a long time to get back up, but I always did get back up.

All in all, it was a wonderful day. I had a great time with Tyson. I was really grateful to see his patience in me and encouraging words as I struggled through the learning process. And it's things like this where we will develop our hobbies together and find out what things we'll love to do together for eternity. Perhaps this will be one of them. Its so great to be able to push through your mental blockers and realize what things you can do that you wouldn't have ever thought you'd be doing. My next obstacle was overcoming the soreness. The tense muscles, the aching tailbone, the stiffness. It all came alongside it. But, just as I'm finally starting to feel like I might actually live, we're planning on going again this Saturday, just in time to break my body again. Ah.....yes.

Truly Blessed

I am a truly truly blessed individual.

And there you have it. No suspenseful introduction. No intense buildup. No climax. No attention grabbing guessing game about what I'm going to talk about. Just straight out with it and to the point...

I am blessed.

But really, I probably whine a little too often. And sometimes I wonder why I am so unlucky that I have to drag my (lazy) butt out of bed at 7:30 in the morning to get to work by 9. Why don't I get to spend more time with my husband? How come I have to buy a purse from TJ Maxx when I feel as though I should be buying a genuine Dolche and Gabbana?! Why me, Me, ME? Oh dear, my life is sooo taunting and horrible, right? Wrong.

I am truly blessed because:

• I have a most wonderful and dear family whom I love and enjoy spending time with.
• My husband took my car today while I was taking a nap (wherein lies another blessing: a nap.) and washed it inside and out. Vacuumed and all. He does things like that for me all the time. And that is a blessing to me.
• I have a great job; which I whine about just because it takes up so much time, when really I should be rejoicing each morning in the fact that I have a job when many people don't at this time. And it's not just a job, but a good job, with great people.
• Tyson and I live in a warm house. A big warm house. A big warm house in which we don't pay rent. That's a blessing.
• We're healthy, and always have been healthy. Our health is a blessing.
• After tomorrow I have a four day weekend. President's Day is a blessing.

I'm going to stop now because I could go on all day, and already I've written too much.

But, today I'm feeling as though I should be the happiest person alive with the life I have. Why do I not live each day with that attitude? Now, I don't want you to think that I am unhappy with my life in any way, or that I'm always whining and complaining. That's not the case. I just think that sometimes I take things for granted and look at the negatives of a situation rather than the positives.

Perhaps I should work on my outlook of life. In fact, not just perhaps, but I'm going to. Startinggg.....tomorrow. Because today, I have a headache that feels as if I got my skull runover by a big ol' 18-wheel truck. So, I'll give myself just a few more hours to wallow in self pity.