Butt Kicking.

So...I can now say that I know what it feels like to get the crap kicked out of you.....

Now, before you gasp in horror and begin to feel deep pitty and sorrow for me, sadly thinking I got mugged or jumped or possibly punched in face, let me explain....

I went snowboarding...for the first time...and the mountain legitimately kicked the crap out of me.

I've decided I'm a little too safe. I don't take enough risks or go on enough adventures. I don't go outside of that comfortable little box that is nice and toasty warm. I just don't try things of the unknown nature; things that I have no idea how they might end, or how I might look doing them. But, I don't know why that is exactly. I don't know why it can be so scary trying new things sometimes. But it's dumb! And I don't like being held back by subconscious thoughts and premade decisions that should have no say over my actions. Anxiety should not be able to tell me not to snowboard or not to sing loudly. It should not have any say over whether or not I go cliff jumping or speak in public without shaking. It should not tell me that I shouldn't run that race because I can't finish. Only I can be in charge of that.

Anywho, back to the big a-kicking. We drove up to Magic, dressed in our appropriate cold-weather garb, clad with our board of a shield, and trudging chin up with our oversized boots and positive attitude. It was snowing. Which you might not see any significance in me mentioning, but the fact that I had a positive attitude whilst knowing I was soon to be out there in the snow is actually quite a significant statement. We started, and I fell. Then, I fell again. And again. And I started getting tired. And sweaty. And sore. So we took a break. Then...back at it again. And I fell, and eventually got up. And fell. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at the top of the bunny hill, with 6 year olds carving on right past me spraying up snow in my face and laughing their hineous gapped-tooth laughs. (That might be a slight overexaggeration, but that's how it felt at the time.)

Our last run of the day was up the big lift. We rode higher and higher up the mountain, as did my anxiety and excitement. As soon as the lift touched the top and we pushed off our seats...I fell flat on my face. However, I got back up and continued on down the mountain. I fell a few times on our way down; and often times it took me a long time to get back up, but I always did get back up.

All in all, it was a wonderful day. I had a great time with Tyson. I was really grateful to see his patience in me and encouraging words as I struggled through the learning process. And it's things like this where we will develop our hobbies together and find out what things we'll love to do together for eternity. Perhaps this will be one of them. Its so great to be able to push through your mental blockers and realize what things you can do that you wouldn't have ever thought you'd be doing. My next obstacle was overcoming the soreness. The tense muscles, the aching tailbone, the stiffness. It all came alongside it. But, just as I'm finally starting to feel like I might actually live, we're planning on going again this Saturday, just in time to break my body again. Ah.....yes.